My First and Last Time

My First and Last Time

The child-like part of any adult female tends to surface from time to time in some of the most unexpected ways. (Pat Brady, the creator of Rose is Rose cartoon series understands this well. And he’s a man!)

One such episode, not to be outdone by any of the other ‘childish’ event of my life, took place in much the same way as Rose when she ‘slaps on the leathers’ and has her ‘go for it’ times.

Our home was at the top of a hill with a nifty sidewalk out in front. It was summer and dinner time, and I had just called the family in to get ready to eat. I was tidying up out front the toys and such that had been left out. It had been such a beautiful day and all was well with the world.

I looked up and down the street at the modern newer homes, at the yards with pea gravel and desert landscaping; it looked like the perfect family neighborhood. All the other families were already inside doing the dinner thing. The last thing I picked up was one of my kid’s skate-boards. Heading back to the carport I stopped and looked around as the kid voice inside my head spoke loud and clear. “Why not take a shot? You can do this!”

First off, I don’t have any leathers to wear, even in my own ‘mind world’, but I could still hear the pull loud and clear even being dressed only in shorts, a tank top, and bare feet.

I walked back to the sidewalk and set the board down. I glanced once again up and down the street. Not a soul in sight. I took a deep breath and placed one foot upon the board and with the graceful ease of a pro I pushed off heading down the strip of concrete. My style and balance were perfect. Ahead of me lay an open sidewalk the length of six houses

“I’ll worry how to stop when I near the end one. I can always leap off,” I told myself.

You must now understand what takes place next happened in the matter of mere seconds. The wind was in my face, I had perfect form, and I was flying.

I sailed past the first house.

“Wow, no wonder my kids love to do this. Wait till I tell them about this.”

I could almost hear the chanting, the shouts and the roar of some far off crowd as they began to stand in great appreciation of my daring ride. I could hear their praises wildly cheering me on. Sigh, but alas. Those were just about the last sane thoughts I remember having.

As I passed the front of the second house my speed was nearing three thousand miles a second. The roar of the wheels on the sidewalk was the stuff that makes the heart beat wildly. Needless to say, this is where Rose and I differ as she always has such great success. Remember that pea gravel I spoke of earlier? It just takes a few scattered nuggets on a sidewalk to bring a skateboard to a complete stop. Yup, you guessed it. I ran into a couple of them.

From that moment on everything was both in slow motion and a blur, all at the same time. The slow motion part was of the board stopping. There was a momentary hesitation where the whole world stood still. From that point on everything went into fast forward.

I don’t remember my feet leaving the surface of the board. I don’t remember flying through the air some 10 feet. The first awareness I did have was of me in a sitting position, legs out in front of me, hands palm down on either side of my body, butt on the surface of the well maintained neighbor’s yard sliding to an abrupt halt.

For a few seconds I just sat there.

Looking up, the neighbor girl of the yard I’m sitting in comes out the front door, looks at me and asks, “Wendy, are you okay?”

Trying to bring her face into focus I lie and reply, “Oh yeah, sure, I’m just fine.”

I did a quick mental check and wondered if I would ever be able to get off the ground. Somehow I had defied the laws of physics as I was now sitting with my legs out in front of me. A self brain analysis convinced me I must have blocked out the initial impact and somehow righted myself.

It’s at this point I began to pick myself up. It’s also at this time I do a quick mental check to be sure I could still walk.

“Whew, thank goodness, no broken legs.”

I gingerly made my way over to the board, bent over and pick it up. Another good sign… back was not broken. I took my time heading back up to my house doing my best to look like a dignified mother of two. When I entered my house and found the first chair to fall into I realized my right wrist was tender.

Telling my cherished family what I had done and making a trip to the hospital for an x-ray to spot a cracked wrist only enforced to them what a nut case I can be sometimes… much to the delight of my daughters who thought the whole thing was a riot.

At least I can truthfully say that I have ridden a skateboard, and if only for a few moments thought it was really fun. It sure made days with a hula hoop look boring.


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